3 Rules for French Dating

"Even the wicked dream of love."
I don’t discuss a lot of aspects of my personal life on this blog. I’m a fairly private person in those regards. One thing that most of you wouldn't know without knowing me in real life is that my boyfriend is French. Like living in Paris, French. Between dating him and just living in Paris for so long, I've come to realize how different dating culture is in the United States.

But if you’re looking to woo a Frenchman (I highly recommend, I’m a big fan of mine), then here are some tips to save yourself some time and possible frustration along the way.

Rule 1: You are probably not going to meet a random boy in a bar. That’s not how it works. The majority of the French really tend to keep to themselves, so most people start dating by going out with a group of friends first. There aren't really “dates” like in the United States. “Dates,” as we would see them, tend to be for older couples or couples who are more established. There’s not a “first date” where you get to know the person, and have to worry about all of the sometimes fun, sometimes confusing components, including the first kiss. If you are going on a date with a French person, you've probably already squared that all away. The French see the American standard of dating as putting too much pressure on a situation. Why put yourself in an awkward position if you aren't sure you even really like the person yet?

Rule 2: If you are going to go out on a date with a French person, do not put on your nice dress and heels. In a country where looking fabulous is all about looking like you just threw something on, that will most likely be seen as trying too hard. Most French women will wear exactly what they’ve been wearing all day. Why would they dress up for this person? If your date wants to be with you he will appreciate you in the clothes that you wear on a daily basis (but remember French girls don’t wear sweatpants outside the house anyways, so stick to jeans). If you want to dress up an outfit, try a swipe of lipstick or a pretty scarf to enhance your ensemble.

Rule 3: Guess what? If you reach the point where you've kissed, and especially if you’re hanging out one-on-one, congratulations! You've got yourself a French boyfriend. There is no “talk” that you need to have. The French will not date more than one person at the same time (unless he or she is a total scum-bag, but that’s pretty easy to spot). This takes out all of the questions in a new relationship. You don’t have to be worried about not being on the same page. Playing head games and playing the field aren't really very French, at least not if you've been seeing each other consistently. If they like you, you'll know it.

What do you think of these French dating rules? Have you had similar experiences? Let me know and bonne chance !

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